Martin Luther King Day, 2010

From my friend's Facebook page: "Happy MLK Day! Dr. King said, 'We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.' That's why we should all care about Haiti."

OK. I am not alone. Agreed? You are not alone. Haiti is not alone. Indonesia is not alone. etc.
2. Do we understand anything we see? (Harder.) I think we want to, but why? Do we want to show our solidarity or our superiority? I know this may sound like an attack, so if it does, please pause until your peace of mind returns.

Earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, land slides, hurricanes, and other natural disasters all compel an immediate response to help. Perhaps not unlike a person next to you who has caught their foot on a crack in the sidewalk. They stumble and you reach to steady them.

When I was growing up and riding in the front seat of the car with my mother, whenever she would put on the break, she would reach out her right hand as if to hold us back in our seats. There was a time when there were no seat belts and that was a practical as well as a loving gesture. The instinct continued long after we started wearing seat belts and we simply received it as the loving, protective gesture it always was.

International development is admittedly a bit more complex, but is the intent the same—a paternal loving, protective gesture for the less mature? The assumptions here are now obvious. The nation in need of development is immature and the person, organization or nation offering the development is parental in their maturity.

In my younger days, I was wholehearted in my zeal for the blessing of the nations. I did not consider myself a parent who was going to rescue a child. If anything, I saw myself as a younger brother aspiring to be truly helpful to an older brother in my representation of Christ here on earth. I was misunderstood and denounced as an imperialist by the leadership in my denomination.

When I could not, did not or would not raise my financial support to continue my "imperialist" concerns, my friends who knew the truth of my intentions sought to help me by offering other creative funding solutions. Looking back, I see I put my faith in those who did not know my heart and chose to be sidelined until the conflict could be worked out.

When I could not find a solution, anger built within me until I was asked to leave my voluntary association to deal with my anger issues before returning. Why was I angry? In a phrase, I felt like I was the victim of the world. Everyone was attacking me. I was innocent. I had every right to be angry.

But, I was not accepting responsibility for not communicating the true, pure love in my heart. I had fallen short and forgot I was part of the problem. Instead, under my anger, I believed I really was guilty of the accusations against me and became afraid of ultimate punishment—burning in Hell!

I had asked God to forgive me so many times, I wondered if there was anything I could do to simply stop sinning in the first place. I imagined if I could catch the mistake before it went any farther in my awareness, the Holy Spirit and I (maybe I thought just me) could do something about it before it did any more damage. Imagine a stone tossed into a pond and trying to stop the waves before they hit the shore!

I thought it was worth a try. (Don't laugh.) I could not figure out how to stop the stone in the first place, which seemed to be the only—albeit impossible—solution.

By this time, however, my behavior following this belief was become more and more insane. The family would sit down for a meal and the cat would cry. I would jump up to feed the cat. The phone would ring and I would literally jump to answer it before it rang twice. The doorbell rang? Same thing.

Driving with me was absolute chaos. We would be passing a friend's house and I would divine God wanted us to stop to offer a blessing. An immediate U-Turn was in order. (Did I put my right hand out to help steady my passenger? I don't think so.) Driving our dad to church one Sunday, I felt there was something "undone which I ought to have done." I "calmly" drove through the parking lot and out the exit gate on the other side with the custodian looking on, astonished.

The end of the story? My family packed me up, put me on a plane back to my monastery with explicit instructions to the flight attendant, "Make sure he gets on, and stays on that plane!" Those instructions were not unwarranted. I did turn around and the flight attendant gently reminded me, "Sir, the plane is this way." My friends from the monastery met me at the airport which was also a good thing because I heard the public address system announce the return flight from the city which I had just arrived and ...

As we drove to the monastery, they shared with me how the Lord had been speaking to them about trusting, waiting, listening. It was as if I had never before heard the scriptures they shared with me (such as Isaiah 30:15, "For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.")

We had dinner. I went to bed. Whenever an anxious thought arose in my mind, my friend immediately, but not alarmingly appeared at the door and asked, "Are you trusting?" This went on all weekend. I didn't even know it was Easter! On Sunday, we went to church and I felt newer than I had ever felt before.

Returning home, I later experienced a similar effect (but not as strong) in the Cursillo and Walk to Emmaus encounter weekends. "Are you trusting?" became a pause what refreshes from that point on. I knew then what it was like to fall with everything falling with you. No matter what I took hold of—before that weekend—nothing stopped me from falling. When I was caught by my friends at the monastery, there was no jolt of sudden stopping the fall. There was the sensation of everlasting hands holding, as if in a plasma reactor—containing, but not touching—my heart, mind and soul.

I am safe. You are safe. Earthquake or tsunami, you are safe in the Hands of God. But some brother needs to be there to help them accept it, like it was done for me. Better, before it happens, but then, I wasn't ready either.

Tectonic science is now as well known as population density. It is high time to put the two together and prevent the disasters "waiting" to happen.

Link to ABC's 20/20 video on the history of Haiti.